In for ruff weather

Today the weather was ruff. It was cold, snowy, and sleety, so I had to stay inside with Tiny and Snowy. Inside is boring.

Since I was stuck inside I decided to do something awesome. I am awesome pretty much every day. Today I decided to make the best paper airplane ever!

First I needed supplies. I snuck outside and collected some sticks and leaves and stuff. They are my favorite construction materials. I arranged them like an airplane. Then I dumped glue on them. It was ready for its first flight!

I needed a pilot. I found a squirrel. I glued him to the airplane. Time to fly!

I snuck back inside the house and then went up on the deck. I shouted "Fly, squirrel, fly!" and threw it as hard as I could.

Thunk.

The squirrel didn't fly. Too many acorns in him, I think.

"Don't worry, I'm coming!" I yelled down to the squirrel.

When I got there, his tail and leg were twitching funny. I asked if he was ok, but all he said was "tackatackatacka". That's pretty much what all squirrels always say to me. So I threw him over the fence into the Miller's yard. Time for a new plane!

Egyptian Fat Bird

I got more sticks and leaves and vines and stuff. This time I used tape instead of glue. This time I got an Egyptian Fat Bird instead of a squirrel. They don't weigh as much. I taped the bird to the sticks.

"Fly, Egyptian Fat Bird, Fly!"

As I threw the new plane and pilot into the air, the tape pretty much stopped sticking. Leaves, vines, and tape fell to the ground. A stick stayed taped to each of the bird's feet, though. They looked like little skis. And it flew! In fact, it flew so well that it kept going and I never saw it again.


Success! Awesome! Success!

That snot funny!

I may have a ruff live, but I have some great adventures.

The other day I wanted to have some fun so I went to Bob's house. I don't know if you remember, but Bob is a dragon. He lives behind my backyard. He's a lot of fun. I knew we were going to have a lot of fun, so I strapped my little doggie's explorer headlamp onto my head, filled my emergency survival pack with bacon, and headed out.

I knocked on Bob's door. He answered but he didn't look good at all. His eyes were all droopy and he was greener than normal, with a hint of blue too. And a touch of yellow. And purple. I am lucky I am such a short dog! He sneezed as he opened the door and that caused a big explosion of flaming snot! It flew right over my head and incinerated a passing raccoon. Poor raccoon!

Bob said he was sick and had a cold. I asked what I could do to help him get better. I was going to offer him my bacon, but I ate it between the time I knocked and the time he opened the door. He said there really wasn't anything that would help, he just needed to rest.

I think there are cures for the dragon cold. I was determined to find them.

I went down to the lake to find the remedy. I gathered up some leaves and sticks and stuff to make a potion. And some fish bones. And a shell. An old pop can, a bobber, and a plastic worm. I saw some geese of doom and was going to grab them, but they saw me coming and flew off.

I dumped all the ingredients in an old hubcap I found, filled it to the brim with lake water, and ran back to Bob's house. I didn't have a way to heat up this magical soup, but I thought that was ok.

Bob answered the door again. I told him that I found the cure! He was excited! I spun in lots of circles. Then I was dizzy and sat down. Bob lifted the cure to his lips. I wagged my little tail stump.

Right as he started taking his first sip a big sneeze hit. Boy, that was a mess! He had flaming bobbers and plastic worms buried in flaming snot dripping down his wall! Ew!  I don't think his mom was very happy with me.

I think tomorrow I'll let him get some rest. Maybe I'll go ballooning.