Milkshake madness

I am very, very disappointed. I love to ride in the car. I love bacon. Look at this picture:

This is my sister, Tiny. This is obviously at Sonic (America's drive-in). She's obviously ordering a peanut butter and bacon shake. She is even in a car. I love to ride in the car! I stick my head out the window and let my tongue hang out. It flapped up and poked me in the eye once. That was embarrassing.

But back to my point. Do you see me in this picture? NO! I got left at home. I am not a bad dog. They just left me behind. I am always helpful in the car, running quickly between all the windows. I am always on the lookout for geese and squirrels so I can tell Mama to swerve! They can be quick, but I know she will get one some day.

Next time, Tiny. Next time. The bacon shake will be mine.

Pete's Castle

Once upon a time there was a dog named Pete. He was a great and majestic king.

All was not well in the kingdom. King Pete had been having a ruff day. He decided to have a feast and invite all his friends. He ordered his 47 kitty-servants to make the preparations.

Pete ran into the dining hall. He jumped up onto the table, eager to begin the feast. He sat attentively at the end of the table, watching the kitties bring in dish after glorious dish of food. The smell of roasted goose, crispy bacon, and cheese penetrated the regal air surrounding him. He almost began drooling, but managed to hold his composure.

The feast table was full but something was still missing. He summoned his kitty-servants and ordered them to call all his friend and ask them to come right away!

Bob, the dragon, was the first to arrive. It helped that he lived in the castle, valiantly guarding its high walls day and night.

Possum, the earth worm was next. He is never very far away. Plus he's a ninja.

Many, many other friends came. Beaver, the raccoon was there. Sparrow, the mockingbird came too. Pete's good friend Elephant, the red fox wouldn't have missed it. Of course, Tiny and Snowy (the dogs) were there too. All his squirrel buddies were there too. A grand time was had by all!

While everyone else ate, the kitty-servants dressed up in funny costumes. Some blew songs on trumpets while others danced around and did acrobatics.

Suddenly, everyone heard a large "SPLAT" sound coming from the roof. Everyone got quiet very quickly. That sound could only mean that the vicious geese of doom were attacking. They couldn't stand for anyone in the kingdom to have fun!

But Pete is a brave dog! He is a valiant king! "No goose of doom is going to ruin our fun! Come with me, everyone, we will teach them a lesson. We must stand and fight! Me must defend the castle and defend our right to FEAST! Onward! For BACON!"

With renewed courage, every animal stormed to the castle towers. They worked together to load the anti-goose canons. Bob ran from canon to canon, lighting them with his breath. Possum (the worm) helped spot the geese. Others busied themselves loading ammo, hauling gunpowder, or aiming the giant canons.

Boom after gigantic boom filled the night. The animals all stood in awe at the incredible display of fireworks filling the dark sky. Geese were fleeing in all directions. The feast was saved!

Pete led his friends downstairs, where the kitties were all cowering under the table. Pete thought it would be a great time to do a celebration dance. But, after he spun in three circles, he realized that he was tired. Everyone took a big nap instead.

That snot funny!

I may have a ruff live, but I have some great adventures.

The other day I wanted to have some fun so I went to Bob's house. I don't know if you remember, but Bob is a dragon. He lives behind my backyard. He's a lot of fun. I knew we were going to have a lot of fun, so I strapped my little doggie's explorer headlamp onto my head, filled my emergency survival pack with bacon, and headed out.

I knocked on Bob's door. He answered but he didn't look good at all. His eyes were all droopy and he was greener than normal, with a hint of blue too. And a touch of yellow. And purple. I am lucky I am such a short dog! He sneezed as he opened the door and that caused a big explosion of flaming snot! It flew right over my head and incinerated a passing raccoon. Poor raccoon!

Bob said he was sick and had a cold. I asked what I could do to help him get better. I was going to offer him my bacon, but I ate it between the time I knocked and the time he opened the door. He said there really wasn't anything that would help, he just needed to rest.

I think there are cures for the dragon cold. I was determined to find them.

I went down to the lake to find the remedy. I gathered up some leaves and sticks and stuff to make a potion. And some fish bones. And a shell. An old pop can, a bobber, and a plastic worm. I saw some geese of doom and was going to grab them, but they saw me coming and flew off.

I dumped all the ingredients in an old hubcap I found, filled it to the brim with lake water, and ran back to Bob's house. I didn't have a way to heat up this magical soup, but I thought that was ok.

Bob answered the door again. I told him that I found the cure! He was excited! I spun in lots of circles. Then I was dizzy and sat down. Bob lifted the cure to his lips. I wagged my little tail stump.

Right as he started taking his first sip a big sneeze hit. Boy, that was a mess! He had flaming bobbers and plastic worms buried in flaming snot dripping down his wall! Ew!  I don't think his mom was very happy with me.

I think tomorrow I'll let him get some rest. Maybe I'll go ballooning.

Christmas 2012

Hello everybody. Merry Christmas, my name is Pete. I’m a dog. 2012 has been a crazy and exciting year!

 

First I have to tell you about my boys! Will is one of my favorite boys ever. When Ma and Pa want to put me out at night, I run and snuggle on his bed. Then they don’t put me out. Joey is my other favorite boy. He feeds me. He puts me out sometimes, which I DO NOT LIKE!!! But he feeds me, too. I appreciate that.

Ma lets me sit on her lap at the table in the morning while she drinks coffee. That is nice. Then she puts me outside, which is not nice. Pa is really good at scratching behind my ears. Sometimes he sneaks me some bacon, but he likes it a lot too so it doesn’t happen much.

Oh, I just remembered the time of the days of lots of outside time. It happened TWICE! My boys and Ma and Pa went some castle that is owned by a mouse or something. I had to stay outside A LOT!!! They say they had fun, but I saw a picture and I think they are crazy.  Do they look normal? When they got home I had to do eight happy spins and then lick them each on the face.

A different time, I had to stay outside a lot again. Ma and Pa went someplace called Brazil. They probably have bacon there or something because they went last year too and think it’s a pretty special place. They called it a mission trip. I go on missions to find bacon or cheese and to save the world from being enslaved by geese of doom, but I think what they did might have been different. I found a picture of that too.

 

Some people think I am a goofy dog. I guess it is because I have a pet dragon named Bob and spend a lot of time battling the geese of doom down by the lake. But my life is full of love, laughter, and imagination. These things make a house a home, make a Christmas happy, and can make life worth living for this little puppy. 

On behalf of my people, I want to wish you a merry Christmas and happy holidays. May it be filled with love, laughter, and a little imagination too. And bacon.

Love,

Pete (and David, Christy, Joey, and Will too)

All I want for Christmas

Dear Santa,

I need more bacon for my emergency kit. And I need my fur to grow back before it gets any colder. I also have a list:

• Bacon
• Goose of doom bait
• Goose traps
• An extra, extra, extra large scarf for my dragon (black and brown, like me)
• night vision goggles, with a strap so they stay on my head
• A new parachute, my old one broke in a mid-air collision with a goose
• Flame thrower, extra short (I am brave, not tall)
• Subscription to the bacon of the month club

I have been pretty good this year, for me. Every time I ran away from home, I came back. I only made messes on the floor when it was an emergency. And the only geese I ate were evil ones. I even shared my bacon with a dragon once. 

Love alway,

Peter Barker