Pete's Castle

Once upon a time there was a dog named Pete. He was a great and majestic king.

All was not well in the kingdom. King Pete had been having a ruff day. He decided to have a feast and invite all his friends. He ordered his 47 kitty-servants to make the preparations.

Pete ran into the dining hall. He jumped up onto the table, eager to begin the feast. He sat attentively at the end of the table, watching the kitties bring in dish after glorious dish of food. The smell of roasted goose, crispy bacon, and cheese penetrated the regal air surrounding him. He almost began drooling, but managed to hold his composure.

The feast table was full but something was still missing. He summoned his kitty-servants and ordered them to call all his friend and ask them to come right away!

Bob, the dragon, was the first to arrive. It helped that he lived in the castle, valiantly guarding its high walls day and night.

Possum, the earth worm was next. He is never very far away. Plus he's a ninja.

Many, many other friends came. Beaver, the raccoon was there. Sparrow, the mockingbird came too. Pete's good friend Elephant, the red fox wouldn't have missed it. Of course, Tiny and Snowy (the dogs) were there too. All his squirrel buddies were there too. A grand time was had by all!

While everyone else ate, the kitty-servants dressed up in funny costumes. Some blew songs on trumpets while others danced around and did acrobatics.

Suddenly, everyone heard a large "SPLAT" sound coming from the roof. Everyone got quiet very quickly. That sound could only mean that the vicious geese of doom were attacking. They couldn't stand for anyone in the kingdom to have fun!

But Pete is a brave dog! He is a valiant king! "No goose of doom is going to ruin our fun! Come with me, everyone, we will teach them a lesson. We must stand and fight! Me must defend the castle and defend our right to FEAST! Onward! For BACON!"

With renewed courage, every animal stormed to the castle towers. They worked together to load the anti-goose canons. Bob ran from canon to canon, lighting them with his breath. Possum (the worm) helped spot the geese. Others busied themselves loading ammo, hauling gunpowder, or aiming the giant canons.

Boom after gigantic boom filled the night. The animals all stood in awe at the incredible display of fireworks filling the dark sky. Geese were fleeing in all directions. The feast was saved!

Pete led his friends downstairs, where the kitties were all cowering under the table. Pete thought it would be a great time to do a celebration dance. But, after he spun in three circles, he realized that he was tired. Everyone took a big nap instead.

That snot funny!

I may have a ruff live, but I have some great adventures.

The other day I wanted to have some fun so I went to Bob's house. I don't know if you remember, but Bob is a dragon. He lives behind my backyard. He's a lot of fun. I knew we were going to have a lot of fun, so I strapped my little doggie's explorer headlamp onto my head, filled my emergency survival pack with bacon, and headed out.

I knocked on Bob's door. He answered but he didn't look good at all. His eyes were all droopy and he was greener than normal, with a hint of blue too. And a touch of yellow. And purple. I am lucky I am such a short dog! He sneezed as he opened the door and that caused a big explosion of flaming snot! It flew right over my head and incinerated a passing raccoon. Poor raccoon!

Bob said he was sick and had a cold. I asked what I could do to help him get better. I was going to offer him my bacon, but I ate it between the time I knocked and the time he opened the door. He said there really wasn't anything that would help, he just needed to rest.

I think there are cures for the dragon cold. I was determined to find them.

I went down to the lake to find the remedy. I gathered up some leaves and sticks and stuff to make a potion. And some fish bones. And a shell. An old pop can, a bobber, and a plastic worm. I saw some geese of doom and was going to grab them, but they saw me coming and flew off.

I dumped all the ingredients in an old hubcap I found, filled it to the brim with lake water, and ran back to Bob's house. I didn't have a way to heat up this magical soup, but I thought that was ok.

Bob answered the door again. I told him that I found the cure! He was excited! I spun in lots of circles. Then I was dizzy and sat down. Bob lifted the cure to his lips. I wagged my little tail stump.

Right as he started taking his first sip a big sneeze hit. Boy, that was a mess! He had flaming bobbers and plastic worms buried in flaming snot dripping down his wall! Ew!  I don't think his mom was very happy with me.

I think tomorrow I'll let him get some rest. Maybe I'll go ballooning.

All I want for Christmas

Dear Santa,

I need more bacon for my emergency kit. And I need my fur to grow back before it gets any colder. I also have a list:

• Bacon
• Goose of doom bait
• Goose traps
• An extra, extra, extra large scarf for my dragon (black and brown, like me)
• night vision goggles, with a strap so they stay on my head
• A new parachute, my old one broke in a mid-air collision with a goose
• Flame thrower, extra short (I am brave, not tall)
• Subscription to the bacon of the month club

I have been pretty good this year, for me. Every time I ran away from home, I came back. I only made messes on the floor when it was an emergency. And the only geese I ate were evil ones. I even shared my bacon with a dragon once. 

Love alway,

Peter Barker

A Funny Olympic Game

Today was a funny day. I have to tell you about it.

Bob, my dragon, took me to an Olympic game. It was a game where geese of doom teamed up with cats to compete for medals and stuff.

I watched one event with a few of my friends. One was a chihuahua, one was a dachshund, and then there was Bob. The geese were holding up hoops for the cats they were paired up with. It was pretty crazy.

The goose held up a hoop and then started honking insanely. The cat didn't even flinch. It would turn its head away from the general direction of the goose and then start licking its paw and its belly adn other stuff. That just made the goose MAD! It was hilarious!

Then I got an idea. I whispered it to my friends. We counted 1-2-3 and then started barking suddenly and furiously. And Bob roared real loud too. The cat jumped straight up in the air like cats do when you scare them real good. The quick thinking goose turned the hoop sideways so that when the cat came down, he fell straight through the hoop!

Well, that made the cat really mad. He took a swipe at the goose's bill and then walked off with his tail high in the air like nothing happened. That goose was pretty happy, though, because he won a gold medal!

When he comes back to our lake, it'll almost be a shame to eat him. He is a gold medal winning goose, after all.

Dragon Taming

I must not keep you in suspense any longer! Time to tell you more about my dragon adventure.

I knew taming a dragon would be a challenge. I am a brave dog, I am up for any challenge. I made a new ninja dog adventurer's emergency preparedness backpack and headed back to the dragon's underground lair.

As I descended into the darkness, I strapped my lantern to my head. When I arrived in the first large room, I decided it was an emergency so I ate all my bacon again. Bacon is good!

When the bacon was gone, I looked up and there was the dragon. He is a big dragon! I am a little dog! I could feel his hot breath on my nose. It smelled interesting. I may have lost myself in the tantalizing smells for a few minutes. Then I remembered... there was a fire-breathing dragon staring me down! This is an emergency!  Luckily, I had a few bacon crumbs left in my emergency pack. I held them out to the dragon.

Slowly, he lowered his head and smelled my paw.  He did not touch my paw, so I approved (no one touches my paw).  He sniffed the bacon and began to smile. I dropped the bacon on the ground and he ate it up.

I said, "Mr. Dragon, we have something in common! I love bacon. Let us be friends and we can eat bacon together!"

Mr. Dragon smiled and I knew we would be friends. I said, "Mr. Dragon, we are friends. We are two of the bravest creatures on earth. We will have wonderful adventures together!"

He said, "Where did that puddle come from? Is it lemonade?"

Dragon poem

I love my dragon, my dragon loves me
His breath is very, very fiery
His wings are big and leathery
He thinks I am the very best Petey
He lives under my backyard
And we eat geese.

Deeper into the hole!

I already told you about the hole I found in the creek behind my fence.  If you missed that part, you should read it now.  It is here.

I am brave. I needed to go back and find the source of the very Interesting Smell that I had smelled with my super-powerful, enhanced-through-ninja-training dog nose.

I went back. This time I had my adventure pack with me. My adventure pack includes a hard hat for my head. The hat has a flashlight built in. My adventure pack also has bacon in it. In case of emergencies.

When I arrived at the hole, it was still there. It still smelled very interesting. I decided this was an emergency so I ate all the bacon. Then I put my hat on and went down.

The big pit was still in the big room down the tunnels. I found the ledge and decided to go to the other side. It was very narrow, but I am brave and really kind of small. I went for it.

The rock on the ledge was loose and slippery. I am brave and I made it to the other side. On the other side I saw another tunnel and I could tell the Interesting Smell was closer. I followed my nose down the tunnel.

After following the tunnel through many twists and turns, it opened to another big room. This was the biggest room I had ever seen! Interesting Smell lived here! A dragon also lived here! Yikes!

The dragon was sleeping and I am very brave. So I smelled him. The dragon is the Interesting Smell!  Mystery solved! The dragon stirred. I turned and RAN. I saw smoke come out his nose as I turned. I saw fire lick the sides of the tunnel around me. I DO NOT LIKE!!!!

I quickly made it back to the first room and crossed the ledge. As I got to the hole, I looked back. On the other side of the pit stood the dragon. He almost looked like he didn't want to eat me. He looked lonely. He looked like he needed a friend. Everyone needs a friend. But I DO NOT LIKE to get eaten, so I left.

I decided I would try to find dragon food and then come back and try to train this dragon. He smelled very interesting!