Dog days

It is hot around here! I try to stay quiet so my people don't make me go outside. There are samurai squirrels and geese of doom gunning for me out there.

I am a brave dog, not frightened by geese and squirrels. But that heat is hot! I would rather nap on the couch all day.

Thank you.

All I want for Christmas

Dear Santa,

I need more bacon for my emergency kit. And I need my fur to grow back before it gets any colder. I also have a list:

• Bacon
• Goose of doom bait
• Goose traps
• An extra, extra, extra large scarf for my dragon (black and brown, like me)
• night vision goggles, with a strap so they stay on my head
• A new parachute, my old one broke in a mid-air collision with a goose
• Flame thrower, extra short (I am brave, not tall)
• Subscription to the bacon of the month club

I have been pretty good this year, for me. Every time I ran away from home, I came back. I only made messes on the floor when it was an emergency. And the only geese I ate were evil ones. I even shared my bacon with a dragon once. 

Love alway,

Peter Barker

A Funny Olympic Game

Today was a funny day. I have to tell you about it.

Bob, my dragon, took me to an Olympic game. It was a game where geese of doom teamed up with cats to compete for medals and stuff.

I watched one event with a few of my friends. One was a chihuahua, one was a dachshund, and then there was Bob. The geese were holding up hoops for the cats they were paired up with. It was pretty crazy.

The goose held up a hoop and then started honking insanely. The cat didn't even flinch. It would turn its head away from the general direction of the goose and then start licking its paw and its belly adn other stuff. That just made the goose MAD! It was hilarious!

Then I got an idea. I whispered it to my friends. We counted 1-2-3 and then started barking suddenly and furiously. And Bob roared real loud too. The cat jumped straight up in the air like cats do when you scare them real good. The quick thinking goose turned the hoop sideways so that when the cat came down, he fell straight through the hoop!

Well, that made the cat really mad. He took a swipe at the goose's bill and then walked off with his tail high in the air like nothing happened. That goose was pretty happy, though, because he won a gold medal!

When he comes back to our lake, it'll almost be a shame to eat him. He is a gold medal winning goose, after all.

Dragon poem

I love my dragon, my dragon loves me
His breath is very, very fiery
His wings are big and leathery
He thinks I am the very best Petey
He lives under my backyard
And we eat geese.

Down by the lake

The other day I was down by the lake. The sun was shining and I was happily frolicking in the grass. Maybe you are not familiar with frolicking. I will be more specific. When the sun is shiny and warm, I roll over on my back and hurl myself back and forth like a big, hyper, and very furry worm. And frantic. But very, very happy.

So I was on my back in the grass by the lake. Then I heard a splat. Instantly I was on my feet and at high alert. I quickly noticed the goose poop right next to me. Then I saw the goose. His beady, lifeless eyes bore into my skull.

"Hey! You pooped in my general direction!"  He only stared.

"It is NOT NICE to poop in the general direction of a ferocious and brave pooch like me!"

"HONK!!!!"

I did what any self-respecting canine would do. I peed a little and then barked at that goose of doom! 

"Bark, bark!"

He lazily turned his head then flew away. I DO NOT LIKE THE GOOSE OF DOOM! I knew this was not the end.

Me and geese

You know that I am brave. I have told you this a bunch of times. I am a brave dog! 

I live near a lake. The lake has geese. We call them geese of doom. We call them that because they are evil. When I get out, I try to run to the lake so I can bark at them. They do not like this, but it is ok because I do not like them! I hope they will fly away to a different lake. Then our lake will be full of ducks, fish, and turtles, which I do like. Well, I do not like turtles a whole lot, but they are better than geese. Turtles do not honk!

One more thing. I must play a prank on Snowy soon. She wrote on my blog.

Poem: Snow Goose (a limerick)

Snow Goose

There once was a goose that flew
The weather was so cold that it snew
The goose landed on ice
Said "This isn't nice!"
And then its legs turned blue

Super powers

Did you know I have super powers? In addition to being one of the bravest dogs ever (as long as there is no scary cheese around) and also having ninja dog skills, I am pretty sure I can shoot lasers out of my eyes.  I am a good boy, so I don't use this power except on geese. Even when I am very thirsty. I spin in circles to get my people to bring me water instead of shooting them with my lasers. I am a good boy.

If you think I am joking, look at this picture. It is proof.