Little dog, big grudge

I am not a very big dog. I have a big heart and I am very brave. My feelings do get hurt some times, and this time is one of those times. I will tell you about it.

This was just Christmas here where I am. You may have had Christmas, too. My people were not being very good at writing a letter to send to all of their friends for Christmas. Most years they do that, because they like to keep in touch with everyone. This year they were being slow. So, I swooped in. I love to save the day and I am very good at it. So I wrote a Christmas letter for them.

And they didn't send it. They didn't send it to anyone at all. So I am mad. I may post it here since they didn't send it out.  They did give me a few chewy bones for Christmas, so I think I will forgive them.

Puddle Monster

I am sorry I haven't written much lately. It is the puddle monster's fault. You may not have ever heard of the puddle monster, but he is very irritating.

The puddle monster comes into our house at night. I do not know how he gets in. I try to be on high alert, but I get sleepy. The puddle monster comes in and leaves little yellow puddles on the floor. They are stinky! My people think I am to blame. I am the only dog that does not stay in a kennel, so I guess they think I should be stopping him. But he is very sneaky!

I guess my people decided to punish me for not stopping the puddle monster. They put me in the kennel now too. I DO NOT LIKE IT! But that is why I can't write as much any more. My best ideas come at night, but I am stuck in the kennel!

The puddle monster is very clever. Since I have been in the kennel, he has been skipping our house. Some day I will find him and stop him! If I ever get out of the kennel.

All I want for Christmas

Dear Santa,

I need more bacon for my emergency kit. And I need my fur to grow back before it gets any colder. I also have a list:

• Bacon
• Goose of doom bait
• Goose traps
• An extra, extra, extra large scarf for my dragon (black and brown, like me)
• night vision goggles, with a strap so they stay on my head
• A new parachute, my old one broke in a mid-air collision with a goose
• Flame thrower, extra short (I am brave, not tall)
• Subscription to the bacon of the month club

I have been pretty good this year, for me. Every time I ran away from home, I came back. I only made messes on the floor when it was an emergency. And the only geese I ate were evil ones. I even shared my bacon with a dragon once. 

Love alway,

Peter Barker

A Funny Olympic Game

Today was a funny day. I have to tell you about it.

Bob, my dragon, took me to an Olympic game. It was a game where geese of doom teamed up with cats to compete for medals and stuff.

I watched one event with a few of my friends. One was a chihuahua, one was a dachshund, and then there was Bob. The geese were holding up hoops for the cats they were paired up with. It was pretty crazy.

The goose held up a hoop and then started honking insanely. The cat didn't even flinch. It would turn its head away from the general direction of the goose and then start licking its paw and its belly adn other stuff. That just made the goose MAD! It was hilarious!

Then I got an idea. I whispered it to my friends. We counted 1-2-3 and then started barking suddenly and furiously. And Bob roared real loud too. The cat jumped straight up in the air like cats do when you scare them real good. The quick thinking goose turned the hoop sideways so that when the cat came down, he fell straight through the hoop!

Well, that made the cat really mad. He took a swipe at the goose's bill and then walked off with his tail high in the air like nothing happened. That goose was pretty happy, though, because he won a gold medal!

When he comes back to our lake, it'll almost be a shame to eat him. He is a gold medal winning goose, after all.

Ruff Day

Some days are ruff-er than others.

Yesterday my people took all three of us dogs for a ride in the car. I like riding in the car. I run everywhere in the car and I get to look out all the windows. If I run fast enough, I can look out most of them at the same time.

This ride did not end fun. My people took us to the all day dog attitude adjuster. I am not sure why.

First, the torture lady separated us and locked us in small cages. Solitary confinement! I DO NOT LIKE!!!!  I could hear Snowy softly whining, but I could not see her to talk to her very well.  We stayed in solitary for a long time! I thought it was going to be forever! I did not have my emergency bacon with me!

I heard the torture lady coming. She got Snowy and left.  Soon I heard the buzzing of a torture device and Snowy whimpering. Then the lady brought Snowy back, but I could not see her. I did not know how she was. I was hoping she still had all her legs!

Then the lady came for me. I decided I would try and be a good dog and hope for leniency. The lady put me on a cold table. I was still nice. Then she PUT ME ON A LEASH! ON THE TABLE! And she did not even take me on a walk outside!

I heard the crazy buzzing start. Then she came at me with it. I might have peed a little bit, but I was trying to be a good dog! The buzzy thing did not hurt at all, but it took my coat! She even TOUCHED MY PAW!  I started to get cold. The lady and her noisy device took most of my fur and then put me back in solitary. Why would they take my furry coat when it is winter? Brrrrrr!

After my people rescued all of us and took us home, we went to the back yard. It was nice to run and play, but it was COLD!  I might have been a little grumpy. I ran around the yard sniffing everything. Snowy asked what I was doing. I shouted, "I'm looking for the man who touched my paw!"

Dragon Taming

I must not keep you in suspense any longer! Time to tell you more about my dragon adventure.

I knew taming a dragon would be a challenge. I am a brave dog, I am up for any challenge. I made a new ninja dog adventurer's emergency preparedness backpack and headed back to the dragon's underground lair.

As I descended into the darkness, I strapped my lantern to my head. When I arrived in the first large room, I decided it was an emergency so I ate all my bacon again. Bacon is good!

When the bacon was gone, I looked up and there was the dragon. He is a big dragon! I am a little dog! I could feel his hot breath on my nose. It smelled interesting. I may have lost myself in the tantalizing smells for a few minutes. Then I remembered... there was a fire-breathing dragon staring me down! This is an emergency!  Luckily, I had a few bacon crumbs left in my emergency pack. I held them out to the dragon.

Slowly, he lowered his head and smelled my paw.  He did not touch my paw, so I approved (no one touches my paw).  He sniffed the bacon and began to smile. I dropped the bacon on the ground and he ate it up.

I said, "Mr. Dragon, we have something in common! I love bacon. Let us be friends and we can eat bacon together!"

Mr. Dragon smiled and I knew we would be friends. I said, "Mr. Dragon, we are friends. We are two of the bravest creatures on earth. We will have wonderful adventures together!"

He said, "Where did that puddle come from? Is it lemonade?"

Dragon poem

I love my dragon, my dragon loves me
His breath is very, very fiery
His wings are big and leathery
He thinks I am the very best Petey
He lives under my backyard
And we eat geese.